Conversations with Spencer
by StuckInAJar
Summary: A typical day in the life of Spencer. Good Spencer and Evil Spencer debate what to so with the day and the outcomes. Special Guest Scarlett visits to talk Spencer out off his mischievous debacles. One-shot.


A Day in the Life of Spencer

Good Spencer/Evil Spencer w/ Special Guest Scarlett

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_Just some quick notes before you start reading…_

Logistical info:

GS: The nicer, slightly less insane side of Spencer

BS: The more evil, less sane, troublesome side of Spencer

*During conversation Spencer is not shown as Good and Bad.

"…": Anything in quotes is spoken between characters. Everything else is internally thought

Based _loosely_ off the Twitter accounts of Spencer and Spencer

"MJ" is Maureen Johnson, original author of Suite Scarlett and Scarlett Fever. Saying that gives me the perfect opening to disclaim. I don't own these characters…blah blah blah. You know the drill right? Consider this story **DISCLAIMED**.

Enjoy!

* * *

*alarm goes off in Spencer's room, 4.30 am*

GS: *yawns* I have to get up and go to work.

BS: No, stay in bed. MJ can write us the day off work.

GS: MJ wouldn't do that…look what happened with the bike.

BS: Good point. Fine, get up. But I want coffee.

GS: What else do we drink in the morning?

*ten minutes later, in kitchen drinking coffee*

GS: Good morning world!

BS: You're so hyper in the morning.

GS: Shut up.

BS: *grumbles*

GS: I feel servicey this morning. What should we do to help our guests today?

BS: That's just the coffee talking. If we must do something let us entertain the deprived people of New York.

GS: I like what you're thinking…go on.

BS: There is an old mattress in the basement. We could have Scarlett haul it up from the basement.

GS: And what shall we do with this mattress?

BS: I've been thinking that we really need to practice our back flips…say out of a third-story window?

GS: Sounds good to me. After work.

BS: I can't wait.

*later that day*

BS: *stretching* I'm ready to do some back flips out of a third-story window. Now where is out dear sweet sister with that mattress?

GS: I haven't seen her around. Ask the world I'm sure someone knows where she is.

BS: To Twitter!

*after ten minutes of waiting*

BS: That's it! I give up; we will just go and get the mattress ourselves.

GS: At least this way we can make sure to get the _least_ decrepit one.

BS: But she should have done it for us.

GS: I think her reasoning was something along the lines of "Working for Mrs. A. doesn't include moving mattresses for you".

BS: But what our dear, sweet sister fails to see is that by working for our agent she is working for us by association.

GS: Explain.

BS: Agents work for clients, technically. Scarlett works for out agent. She is working for the one who is working for us. Therefore, by extension she works for us.

GS: I like the way you think!

BS: We are one person you know.

***

Scarlett: "Spencer! Get out of my window. What are you doing?"

Spencer: "It's a beautiful day to do back-flips out of a third story window."

Sc: "You're going to kill yourself."

Sp: "Have I ever killed myself before?"

Sc: "Not yet."

Sp: "Ye off little faith! I am a professional."

Sc: "So you say."

Sp: "You've seen me run into walls on a unicycle and fall down entire flights off stairs with no mattress at the bottom. How can one jump onto a _mattress_ in the sun tied to a _rope_ be any worse than that?"

Sc: "Your 'rope' is about 40 bed sheets tied together and then tied to you and my window. "

Sp: "It's hard to get out of this knot."

Sc: "Will it be any harder up here than down there?"

Sp: "…"

Sc: "Exactly."

Sp: "Fine, if you don't want to help I'll call Amy. She is probably just getting done with yoga about now and will be able to come right over. She would be glad to help me. This is not to mention the fun I would have. Not only will she be there to applaud and congratulate me on a job well done at the bottom along with all those other people she will be wearing her yoga outfit. It's pretty warm out and she might have to take something off to cool down…"

Sc: "Ahh! Stop. Please don't talk about Mrs. A like that. It's creepy."

Sp: "I don't see why."

Sc: "Do we even know how old she is?"

Sp: "Not exactly."

Sc: "She's many, many, many years older than you. Don't flirt with her. Not only is it weird to see my brother flirt with my boss, the age difference is just outrageous.

Sp: "Don't immediately renounce a Spencer/Amberson pairing. I've been told that, despite the age difference, we make a great couple."

Sc: "My ears are burning!!!"

Sp: "And they say I'm the dramatic one…"

Sc: "Whatever, just get down from the window."

Sp: "Nope, I have to jump."

Sc: "Fine, just stop flirting with Mrs. A when I'm around."

Sp: "Deal."

Sc: *sigh* "I guess I'll go downstairs to watch then."

Sp: "Great."

*a couple minutes later when Spencer sees that Scarlett had indeed reached the street*

Sp: 3…2…1! *leaps*

--

Good Spencer: Well that was definitely fun

Bad Spencer: Yeah, all of our fans seemed to enjoy it.

GS: Mostly. I don't think the one lady liked it when that spring came out of the mattress and cut her leg.

BS: Scarlett got her some gauze and a very large Band-Aid and all was fine.

GS: Jolly good. Definitely one of our better ideas.

BS: Bloody brilliant. And the pain was only, at the most, a six out of ten.

GS: There wasn't even any chance of dieing.

BS: Not any more than usual.

GS: We are the best entertainment that those people will see all day.

BS: Huzzah!

GS: Huzzah!

BS: We should celebrate by taking MJ and her jars out for coffee!

GS: Do you how many jars she has?

BS: Let's see…she has Ghost in a Jar, Ghost in a Jar's cousin, John Green, Pickled MJ books, and um…

GS: Her fifteen-_thousand_ Twitter followers.

BS: Oh…

GS: So that means no MJ Jars. But we are still offering MJ celebratory coffee and her favorite gelato right?

BS: Yes, let's invite Amy too. Our agent needs to talk with our author about our rights…which include a working bike.

GS: I feel a little bad about what we did to Scarlett earlier. We should invite her along too.

BS: You're no fun…we promised her that we wouldn't flirt with Mrs. A in front of her.

GS: I look at it this way—Amy will send Scar on some obscure task within the first ten minutes. Then we will be free to ogle Mrs. A however much we want.

BS: Remind me why people think I'm the bad one.

GS: Look at our history. You're way worse than me.

BS: I see, I see. You make a good case.

GS: Thank you Good Sir. But we have to admit that it is a bit weird. She is kinda, well, old.

BS: But she's _hot_. It's weird to say but true. I'm a guy so I can't fail to recognize beauty when I see it.

GS: It's still a tad odd, and creepy.

BS: Hey don't look at me…you are the only that flirted with her in our first book.

GS: Blame that on MJ. Are you sure that was me? I'm pretty sure that was you.

BS: It doesn't matter who did it then, we both continue to do it now…and in the future.

GS: …Just not in front of Scarlett.

BS: Yep.

GS: Good.

BS: Let's go get that celebratory sugar. I'm starting to hurt and want some coffee.

GS: To Starbucks and the Gelato store!

BS: Huzzah!

--

So that was fun…didn't really have a point but it was fun.

Thanks for reading!

I hope you liked it…but you're not quite done yet. You have to press that little button down there. See it? Click it and leave me a comment telling me what you think.

**_Sami_**


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